Back in about 1985, Dr. Henry L. Lettermann told his Understanding Literature students (of whom I was one): “Find the Reader — the one who reads what you write before anyone else does. Find the Reader and marry it. That’s what I did, and it’s wonderful.” By grace, I’ve found a girl who, on our first date, said, “I’ve ordered Dragonfly.” And then she proceeded to read it, despite her unbelievably busy schedule. And then we had a deep discussion of it.
It is with inexpressible joy and with trembling before the Lord that I announce to you here that my dear one, Julie, said “Yes” in reply to my proposal this week! (Well, actually she said an emphatic “Yeah!” and then formalized it to “Yes!”) So, by God’s infinite grace, I can now type, for the very first time, that I have a fiancee. We are engaged!
Fred & Julie, Self-Portrait, Frick Park, Fall 2012
We started dating last July. She lives a little less than an hour away from me, but we’ve proven (by grace) that interposing miles are not such a great obstacle.
Like me, Julie has been a missionary overseas for many years. She’s been back in the States a little longer than I have, and she’s a lot farther along in her education.
February 2013
She’s working on her PhD in Intercultural Studies, particularly focusing on worship in her mission field. She teaches at three different colleges/community colleges. And last semester, she actually had her students reading this blog and doing writing assignments based on it! (Which is why I waited to say anything about us here . . . had to wait for the fulness of time . . . had to wait for that semester to end!) She speaks at least three languages, plays piano and guitar, and sings like an angel! I absolutely love her family, too — it’s been delightful getting to know them, and they’ve been so warm, accepting, and supportive!
the ring
You know, I’d never thought much about diamonds in my life. I always wondered what all the fuss was about, when you could make something many-faceted and shiny out of plastic. But shopping for this ring, I understood. I began to feel a bit Dwarvish, enchanted with the sparkle of precious stones. Diamonds are pretty. And you can’t get the same effect with plastic! Of all the rings I looked at, this simple, elegant round band with the single round-cut stone kept calling to me and whispering Julie’s name. I couldn’t help making all sorts of connections to The Lord of the Rings, of course, throughout the process. Fortunately for all concerned, I kept them (mostly) to myself. This rather looks like one of the three rings for the Elves, doesn’t it? I’m thinking Nenya, the Ring of Waters, crafted by Celebrimbor — and the only one of the three to remain with its original owner for the duration! (Bodes well for an engagement ring, don’t you think?) Celebrimbor himself gave it to the Lady Galadriel, and she used it to bring healing to Middle-earth. This one of Julie’s is white gold, probably the closest metal we’ve got to mithril. And a white stone, too, just like Nenya’s! On the night of our engagement, Julie agreed that she was very lucky indeed that the hand of Sauron never touched or sullied any of the three rings. Sigh . . . ours will be a very nerdy and adventuresome marriage!
(I think on the morning of the wedding, I’m going to have to imitate Bilbo. I’ll dash toward the church, and I’ll have my Best Man yell out, “Mr. Frederic! Where are you going?” And I’ll wildly shout back, “I’m going on an Adventure!”)
Christmas Eve 2012
We complement each other very well. We laugh at the same things. Our beliefs line up. She’s more academic/non-fiction to my fantasist/fiction, but we each respect and appreciate each other’s disciplines, and we’re both writers and teachers. (I can spill the beans now — it’s her college classes I’ve been substitute teaching for, when she’s been on academic/learning trips.) One of the really nice aspects of a relationship, I’ve noticed, is the joy of introducing each other to favorite stories, be they books or movies. Also music! Julie recently showed me the movie Babette’s Feast, which belongs on the small shelf of your ten favorite films of all time. If you haven’t seen it, do so. Trust me. It has unforgettable things to say about art, love, sacrifice, and life.
Anyway, “Find the reader and marry it.” Remember my summer office, the writing space in Frick Park? This greeted me there one afternoon:
Frick Park
I am complete. All glory, honor, praise, and thanks be to God!
Lizzie says: 
Eunice 
Binsers 
Preacher 
Morwenna 
Jedibabe 
Tim (who's now) in England 
Mrs Spamman 
Catherine G 
General Edith Piaf 
Hagiograph 
Philip 
Michelle Muenzler 
Daylily 
jhagman 
Emily 
fsdthreshold 
Ella 
Buurenaar